12 Things You Need To Know If You’re Going Through A Divorce
throughrosegoldglasses,
It’s been 10 years since I went through my divorce. Often it feels like just yesterday. It’s a tough road to go down, which is why I can understand how people choose to stay. My husband of 14 years had an affair with my “best friend.” Needless to say, we are no longer friends. And yes, having four children, I wanted to save my marriage at the time. But, unfortunately the lies and infidelity continued . . . and the person I once knew was someone I didn’t really know anymore.
Honestly, I could write a book with what went down. It was a lot. Yes, the perfect script for a Lifetime movie. But instead of going through all the heavy details, I’m going to jump to the lessons I learned through it all. And yes, there were many. From dealing with attorneys to communicating with that soon-to-be ex spouse . . . to the children, there were difficult moments, messes made and lots and lots of lessons learned. So here we go . . .
Watch your words. Never talk negatively about ex-spouse in front of children.
Little ears don’t need to hear big explanations. Answer kids questions honestly & positively.
When working with an attorney, remember they are not your friend or therapist. Time is money. Lots of it.
Help children celebrate the other parent’s birthdays & holidays by letting them shop for a present for them. They are not divorcing their father – you are.
Invest in yourself with therapy, books & time. Take the time to heal & become the best version of yourself.
Wait before you date. Enjoy your own company, first.
Keep conversations with ex short, sweet & factual.
No response is sometimes the best response.
Rest before you text. If a response is needed, allow the time necessary to think your thoughts through.
Learn to love your new normal. Your family may look different, but it’s just as beautiful.
Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. Live in the moment before it gets away.
