First just let me say, I’m sorry you’re here. If you’re reading this, you probably feel like you’re going crazy. Worse yet, he’s probably making you feel that way. That’s right, you think your husband is cheating. How do I know? Well, I’ve been you. I’ve been the girl with that awful gut feeling that something just isn’t right. I’ve been the girl googling, worrying, staying up at night and looking for all the signs and evidence that my gut feeling is right or not right. Let me guess . . . you feel like a private investigator. If you don’t yet, you will. In fact, you may feel like an expert PI by the end.
Here’s my story – the extra short version. I married my college sweetheart, had four children and by our 14th year of marriage, I discovered he was cheating. Not only was he cheating – he was cheating with my best friend. Worst. Case. Scenario. Ever. Fast forward 11 years and I am in a happy, loving relationship. My children are happy and healthy. The best friend and ex husband are no longer together. Yes, I survived and thrived. But, it wasn’t easy.
During our 17 years together and 14 years of marriage, we were good. We were the couple everyone wished they could be. But, looking back and knowing what I know now . . . there were some red flags. I chalked those flags up to “growing pains” and just the ups and downs of life. But that dreaded summer when it all went down 11 years ago, I had a very strong gut feeling that something was off with him, as well as with us. The charming man who made me feeling like the best thing ever – was now making me feel awful. I had recently had a baby, so I thought it could possibly be postpartum or that maybe our “surprise” 4th child took a toll on him. I looked within myself and started getting therapy. I tried to think of everything and anything it could possibly be. But then, I started seeing a difference in the “best friend.” And, that’s when I started to pay closer attention to the signs.
I could go on and on about my story – it’s a long one. Honestly, it’s fit for a Lifetime movie. But, instead I want to focus on some of the tell-tale signs that made me start suspecting infidelity. Those suspicions led to the truth and learning that my gut was trying to tell me something. Friends and relatives at first thought I was crazy when I came to them with my suspicions. I mean, we were the “perfect” couple, right? We never fought. We were happy. At least, that’s what I thought.
So, with all that said . . . here’s your sign. Or, I should say, “signs.” I’m not saying that your spouse is cheating if you are seeing any of these things. But, I am saying, that if your gut is trying to tell you something, because things seem very different and are just not adding up . . . don’t go assuming you are crazy. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re going crazy. Woman are born with a power. It’s called intuition. It’s real. It’s powerful. And, it’s the nudge you need to know.
- He’s acting “distant.”
- He’s cleaning more, keeping busy & doing things out of the ordinary for what’s normal to him.
- He saying things like, “I’ve lost myself” “I’m not happy anymore” “You’re not as fun as you used to be.”
- His phone is never being left out in the open. It’s always being put away in a drawer, closet, etc.
- You suddenly feel very disconnected.
- When you share your thoughts and insecurities, fingers are being pointed at you.
- He deflects and says things to make you feel like the disconnect is your fault.
- He gets defensive easily.
- He’s drinking more or taking part in things he didn’t typically do before.
- He’s leaving the house more often to run errands, workout . . . or business-related “stuff.” em
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