I dreamed of having a little girl. After having three boys, I came to the conclusion that I was just meant to be a “boy mom.” Three healthy and wonderful little boys – I was blessed. I really was, and I accepted the fact that I was never going to have that mom/daughter relationship that I always dreamed of. I wanted it so badly, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me – at least, that’s what I thought.
Call it “meant to be, “divine intervention” . . . or, yes, a miracle. To me, my daughter is an angel. Not only is she a “vasectomy baby”, she is also a leap year baby and her birth weight was the lottery number my dad always played. She also came in to my life when I needed her the most. This baby girl saved me. The year she was born was the most difficult year of my life and along with my boys, she gave me a whole new purpose in life. I needed to be strong for all of them, but as a mom . . . I needed to show my little girl how you get back up after you fall, rip that bandage off and heal – becoming the best and strongest version of yourself.
These days more than ever, little girls need to have a role model in their life. Unfortunately, social media exposes them to hurtful words, judgement, peer pressure, being left out and body image issues. It’s the sad reality of what both young and older girls face on a daily basis. Depression and anxiety with girls of all ages are becoming too much of the norm. I’ve seen in it with my own daughter in elementary school and now that she’s in middle school, those signs are starting to creep back in.
Your little girl needs to know that you are her safe place and that you will always be her best friend. Sounds silly, but it’s true. I have two words – Gilmore Girls. If you haven’t watched it with your daughter – you should. It’s relatable, funny, sad and just a great way to get some good mom/daughter time in. My daughter begged me to watch it with her, even though she’s already watched the series three times. She really wanted to watch it together and I can now see why she wanted to so much. I’m her Lorelai and she’s my Rory.
From the time my daughter was little until now, I always planned on being not only her mom – but her best friend. Living life has taught me that no other person will ever succeed in that role. Friends will come and go and you may have a few that you refer to as your “best” . . . but my mom is the one who has been there through thick and thin and who I know I can always trust.
Now back to Gilmore Girls . . . these quotes say it all:
“Mom, you’ve given me everything I need.” ~ Rory
“I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don’t care who knows it.” ~ Rory
“I don’t know if she ever realized the person I most wanted to be was her.” ~ Rory
She watches you and wants to be like you. She looks to you for guidance and acceptance. You want her to grow up being confident, smart, secure, independent, compassionate and loved in a way that she deserves to be loved. Nothing less. How you act, react, carry yourself and speak is just so powerful. The words you say to her now, will help shape the person she becomes now and later. Use your words wisely. Listen and talk to her even when she may not be very easy to talk to. Trust me, she’s listening to what you say and she’s watching every move and decision you’re making. It’s never too early, too late to start talking to your little girl. Talk to her now, later and always. In fact, don’t stop – she needs you.
Let Her Hear You Say:
- I love you.
- You are beautiful.
- You are smart.
- Do your best.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- I will always be your best friend.
- You can trust me.
- Looks are not everything.
- Take care of your inside as much as you do your outside.
- It’s ok to make a mistake as long as you learn from it.
- Be kind – especially to those who may need a new friend.
- Choose your friends wisely. You are who you surround yourself with.
- It’s ok to be upset and cry.
- Take a deep breath.
- Write in a journal.
- What you see on social media isn’t reality.
- Take breaks from social media.
- Saying “no” to something you know is not right – shows strength.
- You can talk to me always – even if it’s about something hard.
- How was your day?
- Everyone grows and develops at their own pace.
- Your body is your body. Respect it. Take care of it.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Don’t worry too much about what others think.
- People change.
- Friends will disappoint you. Know the difference between a mood and a pattern.
- You will lose friends and make new friends.
- Learn from the friends you lost.
- Quality in friends is more important than the quantity of friends.
- Always be aware of your surroundings.
- Never walk at night alone.
- Never let a friend walk at night alone.
- Always lock your doors.
- Money isn’t everything.
- If you find yourself somewhere you don’t feel comfortable or want to be – call me.
- If you can’t get in touch with me, call someone you trust.
- Your gut is your superpower – listen to it.
- Don’t let fear cripple you.
- Be mindful of your thoughts.
- If you are stressed or having an anxiety attack, slow down your breathing. Control your thoughts.
- Life is not a fairytale.
- Do not look for prince charming. Look for a “real” man.
- The grass is never greener.
- Be grateful for what you have.
- Make a bucket list.
- Never let any one treat you less than you deserve.
- Relationships are not easy.
- Communication is key to any relationship.
- You complete you. Don’t look for someone to do that for you.
- Stay honest.